I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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