Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
