super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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