Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
