my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
