Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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