Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
