Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
