she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
