I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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