if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
