Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
