The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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