we're chasing vodka with high fives
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize