Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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