Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
