:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
