I'm really into asian looking animals
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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