Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
