Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
