She's the barista slut.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't put those talents on a resume
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
