My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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