if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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