I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize