Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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