ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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