I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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