She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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