they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
