i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My ass is underappreciated
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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