after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
