everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No I am not eating basil off your cock
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
