Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
