Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
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for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
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He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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