I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My liver just had a heart attack.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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