best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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