if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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