I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize