Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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