Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
