I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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