he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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