Got a toothbrush?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
