please come you make the beer taste better
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
