i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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