my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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