i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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