i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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