maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
