Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
