Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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