I must be too annoying 4 u.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
