In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
home. puking in laundry basket.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
