it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
