So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm jealous of your bromance
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
