well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
