i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize