I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
