so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
