I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
