You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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