using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
