Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
