grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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