She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i dont even know how to be here
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
